Shit Happens Re-visited

When I was in London three weeks ago, I couldn't help but
noticed that many of the shops on Oxford Street (the shopping
street there) have T-shirts with about a dozen or so of
"Shit Happens" as related to various religions and philosophies.

I think it rather clever and would have purchased one of those
T-shirts had it not been priced at 15 pounds, almost $30 USD.

Then I came across this THEME all over the usenet, including
the one below which appeared a dozen years ago:


A Short Guide to Comparitive <sic> Religions


Agnosticism How can we know if shit happens? or What is this
shit?
Atheism Sheeit. or I don't believe this shit
Avoidanceism With all this happening, I think I'll go shit.
Buddhism If shit happens it is not really shit
Calvinism Shit happens because you didn't work hard enough.
Cannibalism Don't eat the shit.
Catholicism If shit happens, you deserve it
Christian Science Shit is in your mind.
Communism Shit happens to all of us.
Confucianism Confucias say, ``Shit Happens''
Denialism What shit?
Environmentalism Shit is biodegradable.
Existentialism What is shit anyway?
Fatalism Oh shit, it's going to happen!
Fetishism I love when shit happens.
Freudianism Shit is a phallic symbol.
Fundamentalism Shit happens, but don't publish it.
Hare Krishna Shit happens rama rama.
Hedonism There's nothing quite like a good shit.
Hinduism This shit happened before.
Islam If shit happens, take a hostage.
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Jehovah's Witnesses Shit happens door to door.
Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us?
Lutheranism Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Masochism Do shit to me!
Moonies Only happy shit really happens.
Mormon This shit is going to happen again.
Nation of Islam Don't take no shit.
Nihilism Shit doesn't mean anything.
Paganism Shit happens for a variety of reasons.
Protestantism Let the shit happen to someone else.
Rastafarianism Let's smoke this shit.
Rationalism I shit, therefore I am.
Repressionism I'll hold this shit in forever.
Sadism I will shit on you!
Scientology All this happens to be shit
Seventh Day Adventist No shit on Saturdays.
Stoicism This shit is good for me.
Taoism Shit happens.
Unitarianism It's not the shit that matters. It's the process.
Vegetarianism If it happens to shit, don't eat it.
Wicca The Goddess makes shit happen.
Witchcraft Mix this shit together and it will happen
Zen What is the sound of shit happening?
Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time

Badly needed addenda:

Baptist
Evangilism
Rec.scuban
Southern Baptist

which is why I post this here for you folks when you run out of
guns and politics discussions.

-- Bob.

"Reef Fish" wrote ...
> Rec.scuban
Don't let the shit hit you in the butt on your way out the door...

> Southern Baptist
How much would you be willing to pay for the shit to happen?

Grumman-581 wrote:
> "Reef Fish" wrote ...
> > Rec.scuban
> Don't let the shit hit you in the butt on your way out the door...

I would have said for this group: Shit happens when politics
fragments the group of gun advocates into splinter groups.

>
> > Southern Baptist
> How much would you be willing to pay for the shit to happen?

I had submitted a couple of entries to follow-up on a post, not
realizing that the group was "moderated", by a hypocritical
shit-head. The following exchange explains why as well as some
"new shit" in the post ACCEPTED by that moderated group while
mine submission was rejected.

RF> Suggested additions:
RF>
RF> Baptist: Shit happens because Billy Graham shits.
RF>
RF> Southerm Baptist: Shit happens when Dr. Bob Jones
RF> shits on his one-time student Billy Graham in Bob Jones
RF> University by saying (cited in Greenville News, SC) "Billy
RF> Graham is the biggest devil on earth."
RF>
RF> TV Evangilists: Shit happens when their sex failed
RF> or their collection plate dries up.
RF>
RF> -- Bob, Jones NOT.


Let the shit hit the fan!


> Your message has been rejected by the moderators.
> Their individual rejection messages were:
>
> Moderator Brian said:
> This posting has nothing to do with atheism in society.

RF> Nor was the original post. But it was HUMO(U)R.

> Maybe if it was in response to a current thread, but
> the post you're responding to is almost two years old.

RF> But HUMO(U)R is timeless. The post in question
RF> was in 2003, but it was already OLD STUFF, plus
RF> some added religions, over posts on the SAME
RF> subject and VERBATIM lines, posted in the 1990s.

The moderator then (2003), correctly accepted that post.

> The posting guidelines for the soc.atheism newsgroup
> and gated mailing list can be found at
> http://www.robomod.net/soc.atheism/

RF> I read it. Nothing applied to the post I followed-up
RF> on, or the post I submitted; but the former was
RF> accepted, and mine rejected.

RF> Is it possible that you're a Baptist or Southern
RF> Baptist and my humor was too much to bear? Did
RF> that account for the SERIOUS omission of any
RF> mention of Baptists in the 2003 post when
RF> Methodist, Presbyterians, Episcopalian, Lutheran,
RF> and every other sects of Christianity was mentioned
RF> and ridiculed BUT the Baptists?
RF>
RF> -- Bob, JONES NOT.

Below is the post I attempted to follow-up on:
>
> Christopher A. Lee wrote:
> > On Mon, 23 Jun 2003 09:00:24 +0000 (UTC),
> izzteryl@aol.com (Izzteryl) wrote:
> > >
> > >>NON-RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHY IN A NUTSHELL
> > >>
> > >> Atheism: Shit happens.
> > >>
> > >>RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHIES IN A NUTSHELL
> > >>
> > >> Catholicism: If shit happens, I
> deserve it.
> > >> Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I
> work harder.
> > >> Judaism: Why does this shit
> always happen to me?
> > >> Buddhism: When shit happens, is
> it really shit?
> > >> Islam: If shit happens,
> take a hostage.
> > >> Hinduism: This shit happened
> before.
> > >> Hare Krishna: Shit happens Rama Lama
> Ding Dong.
> > >> Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.
> > >
> > >"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent
> force for atheism ever conceived."
> > > Isaac Asimov
> >
> > Petteri Sulonen posted this here a while back.
> It's the most complete one I've seen....
> >
> > Outhouse Guide to World Religions
> >
> > Taoism Shit happens.
> > Confucianism Confucius says, "Shit
> Happens."
> > Buddhism If shit happens, it isn't
> really shit.
> > Islam If shit happens, it is
> the will of Allah.
> > Hinduism This shit happened
> before.
> > Mormonism This shit is going to
> happen again.
> > Beginning Zen What is the sound of shit
> happening?
> > Advanced Zen Shit is, and is not.
> > Calvinism Shit happens because you
> don't work hard enough.
> > Judaism Why does this shit always
> happen to us?
> > Catholicism Shit happens because you
> are bad.
> > Karma If shit happens, you
> deserve it
> > Protestantism Let this shit happen to
> someone else.
> > Stoicism This shit is good for me.
> > Christian Science Shit is only in your
> imagination.
> > Seventh Day Adventist No shit on Saturdays.
> > Hedonism There isn't anything like
> a good shit
> > happening.
> > Moonies Only happy shit happens.
> > Hare Krishna Shit happens rama rama.
> > Judaism Why does this shit always
> happen to us?
> > Davidians Let's shoot and burn our
> own shit.
> > Church of Scientology Purge yourself of harmful
> shit - only
> $50,000
> > Shinto Chop the shit.
> > Russian Orthodox Holy shit (no more
> communism!)
> > Agnostic Not sure about shit.
> > Shaolin Destroy bad shits with
> Kung Fu.
> > Existentialism What is shit, anyway?
> > Atheism What shit?
> > Judaism Why does this shit always
> happen to us?
> > Presbyterian This shit was bound to
> happen.
> > Episcopalian It's not so bad if shit
> happens, as long as
> > you serve the right wine
> with it.
> > Methodist It's not so bad if shit
> happens, as long as
> > you serve grape juice
> with it.
> > Congregationalist Shit that happens to one
> person is just as
> > good shit as shit that
> happens to all
> others.
> > Universalist Shit that happens to one
> person is shit that
>
> > happens to all others.
> > Lutheran If shit happens, don't
> talk about it.
> > Fundamentalism If shit happens, you will
> go to hell, unless
> > you are born again
> (Amen!)
> > Creationism God made all shit
> > Secular Humanism Shit evolves
> > Judaism Why does this shit always
> happens to us?
> > Quakers Let us not fight over
> this shit.
> > Unitarianism Come let us reason
> together about this shit.
> > Utopianism This shit does not stink.
> > Darwinism This shit was once food.
> > Nazism Eat this shit.
> > Capitalism That's my shit.
> > Communism It's everybody's shit.
> > Feminism Men are shit.
> > Chauvinism We may be shit, but you
> can't live without
> > us...
> > Judaism Why does this shit always
> happens to us?
> > Commercialism Let's package this shit.
> > Impressionism From a distance, this
> shit looks like a
> > garden.
> > Idolatry Let's bronze this shit.
> > Existentialism Shit doesn't happen, shit
> IS.
> > Empiricism You stepped in shit.
> > Hedonism There is nothing like a
> good shit happening!
> > Christian Science When shit happens, don't
> call a doctor -
> > pray.
> > Scientology If shit happens, see
> "Dianetics" p.157
> > Jehovah's Witnesses Knock Knock. Shit happens
> > Judaism Why does this shit always
> happens to us?
> > Zoroastrianism Shit happens half of the
> time.
> > Practical Deal with shit one day at
> a time.
> > Satanism SNEPPAH TIHS
> > Nihilism No shit
> > Santerianism Chicken Shit
> > VooDoo Sticking pins in your
> enemy's shit.
> > Freudian Analysis Sticking pins in your
> parent's shit.
> > Jungian Analysis Sticking pins in your own
> shit.
> > Transactional Analysis Deny of sticking pins in
> anyone's shit.
> > Paganism Shitting in the woods.
> > Survivalism Don't tread on my shit!
> > Militianism Shoot the shit!
> > Judaism Why does this shit always
> happens to us?
> > Rastafarianism This is good shit, mon!

"Reef Fish" <Large_Nassau_Grouper@Yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1102875969.152594.288930@f14g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...

>

What is the sound that shit makes whet it hits the fan?

amMARRRRINEh

On 11 Dec 2004 22:17:41 -0800, "Reef Fish"
<Large_Nassau_Grouper@Yahoo.com> wrote:

>When I was in London three weeks ago, I couldn't help but
>noticed that many of the shops on Oxford Street (the shopping
>street there) have T-shirts with about a dozen or so of
>"Shit Happens" as related to various religions and philosophies.
>
>I think it rather clever and would have purchased one of those
>T-shirts had it not been priced at 15 pounds, almost $30 USD.
>
snip

You could order it for $17 + S&H from
http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/shirts.html
John

"Reef Fish" <Large_Nassau_Grouper@Yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1102886452.231607.13820@c13g2000cwb.googlegro ups.com...
>
> Scott wrote:
> > "Reef Fish" <Large_Nassau_Grouper@Yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > news:1102875969.152594.288930@f14g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...
> >
> > >
> >
> > What is the sound that shit makes whet it hits the fan?
> >
> > amMARRRRINEh
>
> Sounds more like *plonk* to me.

Plonk away.

I'll cry alone.

Scott wrote:
> "Reef Fish" <Large_Nassau_Grouper@Yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:1102875969.152594.288930@f14g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...
>
> >
>
> What is the sound that shit makes whet it hits the fan?
>
> amMARRRRINEh

Sounds more like *plonk* to me.

-- Bob, Jones NOT.