Dive Instructors - Open Letter

After yet another trip on a charter with a dive instructor present (I
wasn't in his class, nor a customer of his shop, and the charter was
an open charter), I have to make a simple request of all of you
instructors:

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND QUIT TELLING ME HOW TO DIVE!!!! Please.

I didn't ask for your opinion, nor do I want your opinion. I'm not
your student and I probably have more dive experience than you do
(especially after listening to some of your instruction).

I actually had one clown chastise me for having my safety sausage
connected to the right side of my BCD instead of the left. WHO
CARES?!?!

On Sat, 12 Aug 2006 12:12:59 -0500, nospam wrote:

> After yet another trip on a charter with a dive instructor present (I
> wasn't in his class, nor a customer of his shop, and the charter was
> an open charter), I have to make a simple request of all of you
> instructors:
>
> SHUT THE FUCK UP AND QUIT TELLING ME HOW TO DIVE!!!! Please.
>
> I didn't ask for your opinion, nor do I want your opinion. I'm not
> your student and I probably have more dive experience than you do
> (especially after listening to some of your instruction).
>
> I actually had one clown chastise me for having my safety sausage
> connected to the right side of my BCD instead of the left. WHO
> CARES?!?!

That would make a good T-shirt.

On Sat, 12 Aug 2006 12:44:31 -0500, nospam@all.please.net wrote:

> On Sat, 12 Aug 2006 12:12:59 -0500, nospam wrote:

<snip>

Would it be too much trouble for you 'nospam'ers to come up with a
more unique moniker so that we can more easily know who is who...
Yeah, I know that if I look at the IP addresses, one of you is from
around Crowley, LA and the other is from around Nanuet, NY, but it
sure would be nice if you would create a more unique moniker / name
for yourself... Perhaps a name of "NoSpam-LA-Crowley" and
"NoSpam-NY-Nanuet"?

"VK" <vandit.kalia@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1155416700.914109.123980@b28g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...

> Talking about who cares - who really cares on this forum about what you
> do? You can go kill yourself for all I care, bub. In fact, if it
> spares me having to listen to this drivel, you have my active
> encouragement.

Dont sugar coat him Vandit, let him have it straight...

nospam wrote:
> After yet another trip on a charter with a dive instructor present (I
> wasn't in his class, nor a customer of his shop, and the charter was
> an open charter), I have to make a simple request of all of you
> instructors:
>
> SHUT THE FUCK UP AND QUIT TELLING ME HOW TO DIVE!!!! Please.
>
> I didn't ask for your opinion, nor do I want your opinion. I'm not
> your student and I probably have more dive experience than you do
> (especially after listening to some of your instruction).
>
> I actually had one clown chastise me for having my safety sausage
> connected to the right side of my BCD instead of the left. WHO
> CARES?!?!

It would make me happy not to ever talk to you again, but since you've
chosen to remain anonymous I have no clue who not to talk to.

*

"nospam" <nospam@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:1m2sd2lvnm6aoq8bt0mhfl0ta0rgi3vpef@4ax.com...
> After yet another trip on a charter with a dive instructor present (I
> wasn't in his class, nor a customer of his shop, and the charter was
> an open charter), I have to make a simple request of all of you
> instructors:
>
> SHUT THE FUCK UP AND QUIT TELLING ME HOW TO DIVE!!!! Please.
>
> I didn't ask for your opinion, nor do I want your opinion. I'm not
> your student and I probably have more dive experience than you do
> (especially after listening to some of your instruction).
>
> I actually had one clown chastise me for having my safety sausage
> connected to the right side of my BCD instead of the left. WHO
> CARES?!?!

You should. Connected to the left side means that you'll be able to
successfully deploy it in an emergency, leading to rescue, a movie deal, and
millions of dollars in speaking fees as you recount your harrowing aquatic
adventure. Connecting it to the right side means that it'll be undeployable,
search boats and planes will miss you, and you'll die, alone, in the ocean.

See the difference?

Dennis

"Star" <lclee1@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1155441441.359116.155040@b28g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...
>
> nospam wrote:
> > After yet another trip on a charter with a dive instructor present (I
> > wasn't in his class, nor a customer of his shop, and the charter was
> > an open charter), I have to make a simple request of all of you
> > instructors:
> >
> > SHUT THE FUCK UP AND QUIT TELLING ME HOW TO DIVE!!!! Please.
> >
> > I didn't ask for your opinion, nor do I want your opinion. I'm not
> > your student and I probably have more dive experience than you do
> > (especially after listening to some of your instruction).
> >
> > I actually had one clown chastise me for having my safety sausage
> > connected to the right side of my BCD instead of the left. WHO
> > CARES?!?!
>
> It would make me happy not to ever talk to you again, but since you've
> chosen to remain anonymous I have no clue who not to talk to.

He might be that little dive nazi guy I met in Honduras.

;^)

chilly wrote:
> Hullo?? That's not the guy I argued with on rec.scuba, to my detriment . .

Hey, I havent gotten into a real flamewar for almost 4 years. Havent
called anyone a fucknozzle for 5 years. That's gotta count for
something!

> All that aside, unfortunately, last year, in Honduras I found myself diving
> with a young dive nazi for one boat dive.

I had one of those in Zanzibar. It was our last day, and we really
wanted to dive these 2 wrecks, one at 130ft, the other at 100ft. The
instructor was kind of cool about it, and said it would be hard for
them to pull it off schedulewise, as the sites were a bit far. Ok,
fine. We went to the 100ft wreck, and it was a major disappointment.
The water was cold, the vis was crap and the wreck was shit, so I
bailed on the second dive.

On the ride back, their DM started going off on me, however - saying
about how I claimed to be an instructor and yet didnt know that it
wasnt possible to do a 130ft and a 100ft dive safely on the same day,
and how I couldnt even do 2 dives on a day so how was I going to do 2
deep dives.

I came really close to throwing him off the boat (my friend says he was
actually ready to physically restrain me). I ended up showing him my
mix card, and telling him that he was a fucking newbie idiot who should
stick to diving in a bathtub. That has been about the only
bad/annoying dive boat experience I've had.

> Oh by the way, Vandit, I'm still hanging out with Jenny. Do you remember
> her from Koh Tao?? She ended up in Belize.

Jenny? I think I vaguely remember her... is that the girl who was
doing her IDC with me? If so, tell her I said hi.

I *do* remember this guy whose mattress you were going to go test.
Whatever became of that? :)

Vandit "never forgets dodgy moments"

"Star" <lclee1@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1155441441.359116.155040@b28g2000cwb.googlegr oups.com...
>
> nospam wrote:
>> After yet another trip on a charter with a dive instructor present (I
>> wasn't in his class, nor a customer of his shop, and the charter was
>> an open charter), I have to make a simple request of all of you
>> instructors:
>>
>> SHUT THE FUCK UP AND QUIT TELLING ME HOW TO DIVE!!!! Please.
>>
>> I didn't ask for your opinion, nor do I want your opinion. I'm not
>> your student and I probably have more dive experience than you do
>> (especially after listening to some of your instruction).
>>
>> I actually had one clown chastise me for having my safety sausage
>> connected to the right side of my BCD instead of the left. WHO
>> CARES?!?!
>
> It would make me happy not to ever talk to you again, but since you've
> chosen to remain anonymous I have no clue who not to talk to.

Why? Personally, I understand the sentiment fully, at least I think I do.
I'll bet every one of us, at one time or another, has been on a boat where
somebody, by virtue of the rating on their card, presumed to tell us all
about how we should dive their way. I don't think I've ever told them to
Shut the Fuck Up ? but I'm sure I've been tempted. An open letter here
seems better than a confrontation on a dive boat . . . and he did say
Please.

Telling someone what to do and how here, in rec.scuba, is one thing.
Presuming to do it to a captive audience on a dive boat is entirely
different.

Lee

Lee Bell wrote:
> Personally, I understand the sentiment fully, at least I think I do.
> I'll bet every one of us, at one time or another, has been on a boat where
> somebody, by virtue of the rating on their card, presumed to tell us all
> about how we should dive their way. I don't think I've ever told them to
> Shut the Fuck Up ? but I'm sure I've been tempted. An open letter here
> seems better than a confrontation on a dive boat . . . and he did say
> Please.
>
> Telling someone what to do and how here, in rec.scuba, is one thing.
> Presuming to do it to a captive audience on a dive boat is entirely
> different.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/5257704.stm


-hh